Where do we go from here?

Dear you,
I know (I am assuming) you probably think that I do not care anymore, but that is the farthest thing from the truth. Well, I would like to say "I know you're upset" but I don't want to assume that. I just want to let you know that I am upset too. I really wish I knew what happened. Of all the people in my life I never expected to lose you. You mean so much to me and everything I have ever told you is completely true and I still feel that way. You impacted my life so much, that I do not think that you will ever realize it. I wish I could rewind time and go back and fix things before they happened and it ended up like this.

I know you probably feel like I blame you for everything and for why this happened, and honestly sometimes I do. But at the same time I know you probably feel the same way about me. I am not perfect, and I know I probably did quite a few things to hurt you and to help break our relationship down.

I wish there was something I could say to magically fix all of this, but at this point I can't.
I do not know what you feel about any of this, but I would love to know.
You mean too much to me for me to just let you go and not fight to have you in my life again.
I know at this point in time it might not be the best thing for us to try because I need a break for a while, but I just want you to know that I still love you and I still want you in my life and in time I hope we can fix everything.

BFSM, right?
We're supposed to live next to eachother and have our kids get married, remember?
Love you.