Sunday, June 23, 2013

Whole Milk

The embers still burn, the flame flickers every now and then; A flare, a warning, a reminder that something was once there. The remnants of a life, the beat of a heart, your breath still lingers on my skin. The wind whispers your name and plays with my hair the way you did as I used to lay with my legs entangled with yours. It is amazing how many seconds, minutes, hours, and days can pass and yet I can still picture your smile and remember the scent of your skin after you showered. I miss every thing about you. I don't care if the world does not want us together, you will always be with me. Your wisdom, strength, and advice have become my conscious.

I feel sorrow when I think of your life and your future. I saw you, through you - as if you were transparent. Wounds that have never healed cover up the man you could become. The false confidence you pretended to have is just a coping mechanism for all that you lack. The potential you have is escaping through the cracks as you slowly break down; Erosion of the body, spirit, and mind. I saw the castles you could have built, the empire you could have created, should have created, but you are nothing but a peasant disguised as a prince. What a foolish child I was to believe in the fairy tales. If you are a prince, then I'd rather kiss a frog.

There are so many unspoken words between us. So many things that were left unfinished and unsaid. You cross my mind too often for this to be over, but it is over. You have never been one to finish what you started. You leave things in disarray: unfinished and untouched. You are heartless and careless with hearts. The only fault I can account for, is my faith in the man you claimed to be. Misrepresented and mistreated. The puzzle crumbled in my hands as I tried to fit the pieces together one by one. I look back now and I see that the pieces that made up your place in my life, weren't supposed to fit. I shoved them together, but in the end they belonged to a different puzzle altogether. I wish I never gave you the pieces of mine for I will never get them back. You will forever hold some of my heart in your hands - or smashed into the crevices of your shoes after you decided to rip it out and stomp on it. Your love was never that of a man, but that of a selfish child.

I am moving forward. The turtle will always win the race. I'm sorry that you cannot find the happiness that you want, but I am not even sure that you deserve to be happy anymore. Once you can accept yourself as you are, flaws and all, then maybe one day you will be able to find true love. As for me, I am doing well. That is all you need to know.

Love always,

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